Paradigma 9

Did I ever mention that I have a bad habit of smoking? Well i guess i haven't. Let me tell you how it all started.

When I was a little boy, I always wondered about people smoking. At that time, I thought that smoking was a consumption, as also eating. And wondered about that second mode of consumption. However, it was just a thought at the time. You see, my father doesn't smoke, but somehow I knew that when I grow up, I would be a smoker, and also wouldn't grow a moustache or beard. Funny, it's not a mindset that I want to smoke when I'm adult. It came to me like an intuition.

Then I entered a boarding school. During the junior years, I was always against smokers. I just thought that they're only acting out. Tunjuk lagak. Whenever somebody got busted for smoking, I would say "padan muka"

Now, I had a couple of close friends, and we'd chat a lot at dorm. Somehow, in the middle of our chat sessions, one of them would excuse himself to go somewhere for a while. It didn't raise any questions at that time, but when it continued for some time, i was curious.

So I followed him even though he didn't want me to. We entered a storeroom, and there I found my other friend. I was a bit frustrated inside that my friends were smoking all these while.

My belief of "only show-off/naughty kids are smoking" disrupted. So I was curious of smoking. They didn't encourage me. It beats the point of them keeping it a secret from me before, if they teach me how to smoke now.

But I was stubborn. And asked for a puff. Well... I went all the way back to dorm feeling so dizzy. This couldn't be fun, I said and vowed not to smoke.

My stupid curiosity came back to me again a couple of weeks later, and a puff became two puffs. And at some other time, I'm no longer dizzy of the smoke.

Then it became a stick, then it became on schedule after eating.

Then, I had to buy my own packs.

I'm trying to quit, in fact, I'm scheming my stop-smoking-plan, as soon as I finish this last stick.

Oh which reminds me, I schemed a propaganda to boycott McDonalds, while eating BigMac.

Somebody, please tell me how to scheme.

posted by Paradigma @ 11:07 PM